NaBloPoMo #2

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November 3, 2009 by Jo

Today was my last official day at work until January 4th. It was much more emotional than I expected it to be.

We held our usual Monday staff meeting and then got the news from my parents that my “theatre grandmother” had finally gone home after a long fight with breast cancer. Even with those of us who were close to her she was extremely private in her battles, keeping her struggle to herself. Watching her path was like watching my Mamur go down that long road again. Mamur fought for 12 years; I am glad that Ms. Carol didn’t have to wage a war quite that long.

The angels will be decked out in new robes with lots of glitter if she has anything to say about it.

After that news, my emotions went downhill. Every last minute gift, goodbye hugs, even just the act of changing my voicemail to an out-of-office greeting were enough to kill me. Then we had our monthly planning meeting for our biggest event and as I sat down with different committees and brainstormed, created, problem-solved I realized how much I was going to miss my job.

And how terrified I am.

I am terrified at being home for two months. Not because of the baby or the difficulties that come with being a new parent, or because I’m scared of losing myself, or any of the other things that are usually scary about a big, albeit temporary, change.

I am terrified at the boredom that might ensue.

Since I landed my first full-time job (as in, I made enough documented moola to pay taxes) when I was 19 I have never had more than two weeks off. So in a little over 8 years I’ve been working pretty much non-stop, especially in my current job. The thought of being at home with my precious baby, wonderful husband and amazing stepkids is all at once thrilling and terribly frightening…I just don’t want to be idle.

So beyond caring for the baby I suppose I’ll learn Photoshop, finish the few things we have left to do on the house, read with Kaitlyn a lot, play flute-violin duets with Connor the Magnificent, be a lady that lunches (already have several of those scheduled), hang out with my mom, travel a little (we already have trips to Tennessee and Tuscaloosa planned and a holiday one to New Orleans is extremely possible) and do my best NOT to check in at work every day. And I can do it, I know I can… 

…but I don’t have to be ecstatic about it.

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