..ouch?..

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November 20, 2007 by Jo

I’m extremely sensitive.

It used to be an insecurity thing…I thought everyone was out to get me, to hurt me, to hate me.

Then, it was a hypocrisy thing. I wanted everyone to like me because that’s how good Christians are…everyone likes them, no grudges are held, no bitterness rooted.

Then it was a commitment thing. I was totally committed to certain people and wanted their total commitment in return. It hurt like the devil when that didn’t happen.

Now, it’s just a…Jo thing. I can’t hear what people say, write, imply about me without my stomach turning over. I can’t get over things quickly or move past them without some sort of apology or resolution.

It’s awful.

So today, I was made privy to comments made about me by someone who doesn’t have the talent or education to make me respect her for any reason. She said some things about people I love that really bothered me. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the balls to just say them to my face. Instead, when we see each other, she pretends that I’m her savior.

 But for the first time, ever, I was able to just laugh at it and brush it off. There’s the punch thrown and dodged.

Sensitive? ME?! Never.

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